Hello,

I just finished listening to the story about the new Black Barbie and “Good Hair.” I followed up by going to the Globe article by Francie Latour, and I read it as well as the reader comments.

One thing that bothers me is how few conversations mention the black women who don’t think in terms of “good” or “bad” hair (or other features). Not once, growing up with “kinky”, “nappy”, “coarse”, “bad” hair–according to the articles and stories–, did my parents, family members, or friends ever speak about my hair in this way. Not once did I ever think of my hair as problematic or troubling. This certainly isn’t because we were ignorant of the past, but why perpetuate it? Why in the world would you pass on such a negative self-image?

I do straighten my hair now–is this because I have absorbed all of the self-loathing of “the black community” or the skepticism and distrust from “the larger white society”? (Please, let’s not forget that a single, unified black community doesn’t exist…) No, it’s because once the straightening process is over, it takes a fraction of the time for me to wash, dry, and style my hair at home compared to when it is in its natural state.

Should it matter, I currently have a white boyfriend. He is the one who is horrified by the “corrosive chemicals” to which I subject myself and asks me to leave it natural. At some point I may cut it off, as I have in the past, I may go back to twists, or I may leave it as it is. Whatever happens, I will be happy with how it looks–not proud, nor ashamed, simply happy and accepting of it, whether chemically straightened or not.

African Americans aren’t the only ones with hair abuse. A girl I know regularly had permanents to make her hair curly beginning at 2-3 years old. She was also dressed up in fake fur coats for glamour shots.

I listened with amusement to the “Black Barbie” story and later read the article by Francie Latour with great interest. I have four multi-racial daughters with tresses ranging from nappy to curly-q to “the best hair” as my 16 year old claims. We have always had some type of hair drama in our house. My oldest is adopted from ethiopia and I always braided her hair until she could do it herself. My youngest was blessed with a think head of blonde nap and I always told her she had the prettiest hair and that once she was old enough to do it herself, she would love it. Now she is in 8th grade and some days she “works it” by letting it free and bounce along and other days she uses clips and bands to contort it every which way.
I have been blessed with lovely strawberry blonde/red hair and defended my right to it in third grade by knocking Mathew Meyer on the nose when he called me a “strawberry freckle face.” I was called “bozo the clown” at home by my older blonde sister and just knew deep down inside that she was jealous of me. And imagine my shock when a few years ago my daughters explained what “a ginger” was. Now that I am turning a bit silver, I still love my hair, but I am most proud of my daughters and pray they will continue to enjoy their own amazing beauty.

As a white male, I was surprised to hear yesterday what is needed to “straighten” black hair. All I want to say is, please don’t do it on my account because: a) prior to yesterday I wouldn’t have given it any thought, b) if I do notice, I won’t care, and c) it’s high time for those few of us who do care to get over it!